Mystery Writing Dialog Tags – What Did Hemingway Use?
Thursday, May 15th, 2008Dialog Tags – What the Heck Are They?
Dialog tags, ah the conundrum. For some reason, dialog tags are hard for a lot of beginning writers to understand. Why can’t you say, “I hate you,” Sue said, fiercely. Well, you can but that example uses an adverb to modify a verb. Remember? You want to use strong verbs, always. And the fewer the adverbs the better. Wouldn’t it be better and more importantly SHOW better to say, Sue spoke through gritted teeth, her face turned the color of rip strawberries. “I hate you.” You know Sue is not happy and you’ve conveyed who spoke without using a tag. But if you must use a tag, said, asked and replied are all you need. Don’t believe me? Read some Hemingway. Basically he only used said. He also rarely if ever used adverbs. Said is invisible, it disappears, you don’t really see it when you read but you know who’s talking.
So why, please tell me why do I still read, “I hate you, Sue gasped.” Try that out loud, please. Can’t do it? Neither should Sue. Yet I see adverbs modifying said all the time in published books by well-known authors! What’s a beginner to do? Write tags correctly and you’ll stand out in the slush pile. Here’s a good exercise to help you do it right. Take a book you own, maybe a paperback – I still have trouble writing in books, and go through it checking for all the dialogue tags where the author uses a modifier with said. On a separate piece of paper, see if you can’t rewrite the weak ones to make them stronger and better.
For instance instead of : “I’m sorry he hurt you,” Sue said kindly. How about, Sue wiped a salty tear trailing down the little boy’s face then hugged him close. “I’m sorry he hurt you,” she said. Better? I think so because you are showing that Sue is kind. How about -”NO,” he said authoritatively (yeah I just read that one!). Instead try – He stiffened his back, clenched his fist and narrowed his eyes. “NO.” the single word shot out of his mouth.
Well I could go on all day but I think I’ll go turn on the A/C and read a book. It’s about 90 degrees here and toooooo hot to think.
