The characters are stock and cliched and I really didn’t like any of them. I especially hated the protagonist, Ivy Rose (how’s that for a cutesy name???) She’s nine months pregnant with a much wanted child, she’s had several miscarriages, BUT she does dumb things that endanger her own and her baby’s health. She’s wimpy and doesn’t stand up for herself. Yup, she’s TSTL (too stupid to live). At one point she goes to an empty creepy house, walks in and proceeds to find a dead body! Oy, I was waiting for Jamie Lee Curtis to come screaming out of the closet. Don’t even get me started on the ending, Ivy (nine month PG!) and dumbwaiter!

The basic plot is, Ivy and her hubby decided to clean out their old Victorian House and have a rummage sale.  Another very pregnant woman comes up to Ivy and introduces herself as Melinda. Does Ivy remember her from high school? Well, sort of – see Melinda has changed. She’s not the schlub  as in high school. Melinda tells Ivy she used to play in the Victorian as a child because her mother worked there. She asks to see the inside of the house . Ivy’s husband, Dave, agrees to take Melinda inside and….no one ever see her come out. Have you figured out the plot? Not too hard, I know.

I was very irritated when Ivy and her best friend, Jody got together. They reminisced about things that happened in high school and….third grade! Please, these women are in their 30’s! Well, maybe they do remember – this all takes place in Massachusetts after all, where people grow up with six friends, don’t want anymore and never leave the area.  Sorry, got off on a rant. I lived in Mass for nine years and could tell you SUCH stories!!

But back to “Never…..” – it just wasn’t very good! I have to tell you, I believe the ONLY reason this book got published is because the “author’s” name is Ephron. “Nut said.

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Nope. I read the first two chapters of “Still Life” and knew what the rest of the book would be like, and who the bad guy was. Sigh. I went to the last few pages, read them and almost wept – I was right! This book was so slow, boring and predictable, I really have to wonder if the editors at Atria Books even read it or just printed the damn thing because Fielding has such a huge following? Well, I’m afraid that’s changing – fast. If you don’t believe me, read some of the reviews on amazon.com

The main idea of the book is that Casey Marshall, the protagonist, is hit by a car, has every bone in her body broken, has a concussion and lapses into a coma. The ENTIRE book is told from Casey’s POV in the coma! She can hear everyone around her but of course they don’t know that. So basically Casey is TELLING us the story! What’s the first thing you learn in Writing 101? SHOW don’t TELL.

To begin with, Casey is not believable. She beautiful, talented, a great athlete, runs a successful business, is married to a hunky successful lawyer and … she has oodles of money! I’m sure she never sported a pimple or had gas. How boring is that – and how totally unbelievable and cardboard. The other characters that I read were almost as bad. As I said, I only read two chapters but I had to stop! Casey is in her coma and hears two doctors talking. One tells the other one that they will have to perform a tracheostomy to help her breathe. Then the other DOCTOR asks…”And what exactly is involved in this procedure, Dr. Zarb?”

AAAKKKKK – I screamed - AUTHOR INTRUSITON! I mean, if the doctors were that damn dumb, I wouldn’t want them near me. Fielding acknowledged a couple of doctors and thanked them for their incite and stated that she took lots of notes. Great, fine – but you didn’t have to put all if it in the book. Well, as I said, I couldn’t go on.

I have to wonder what happened to Joy Fielding? She used to be such a great storyteller but he last about four books have been….well, crap. Sorry, but it’s true and I’m not the only one who thinks that. If you want to read a good book by Fielding get, “See Jane Run,” “Grand Avenue,” “Whispers & Lies” or almost any of her early books.

Sad to say, next time I see a new Joy Fielding book on the shelf – it will stay there.